


Why Don't We Oneshots

by anothergirlinlove (ObsessedWithBands)



Category: Why Don't We (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Alternative Universe - No Why Don't We, Amazing, Anal Sex, BDSM, Beautiful, Bedroom Sex, Boys Kissing, Cute Ending, Dominance, Dominant Corbyn, Dominant Daniel, Dominant Jack, Dominant Jonah, Dominant Zach, Drunk Sex, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Excessive Fluff That Might Make You Cry, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, French Kissing, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hair Kink, Hair-pulling, Hot, Hot Sex, I Don't Even Know, Love Bites, M/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Mystery, Neck Kissing, Online Dating, Original Fiction, Partying, Perfect, Riding, Romance, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Submissive Character, Submissive Corbyn, Submissive Jonah, Submissive Zach, Teasing, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking, We, and, conah, don't, dorbyn, is - Freeform, jachary, janiel, jorbyn, submissive daniel, submissive jack, too - Freeform, why, why don't we - Freeform, zaniel - Freeform, zonah, zorbyn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2019-10-07 03:58:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17358503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedWithBands/pseuds/anothergirlinlove
Summary: smut*. fluff. both. anything between certain band members from WDW...and you, too.requests are considered, greatly appreciated :) comment them please :))jack and zach. daniel and jonah. jonah and zach.corbyn and jonah. corbyn and daniel. corbyn and jack.daniel and jack. daniel and zach. jack and you. zach and you.jonah and you. daniel and you. corbyn and you.





	1. from across the room*: jack and zach

jack.

i saw him once, then twice. i went to this party because my friend forced me to. daniel told me this would be fun, to take my mind off of whatever was stressing me out.

but it didn't. until i saw zach.

it didn't seem like he was having fun at the party either. the people around him were supposedly his friends, but he wasn't talking to anyone.

and i wanted him to talk to me. so i walked to him from across the room.

he looked up at me. 'i've seen you before.'

i nodded. 'and i've seen you.'

'jack, right?'

'yeah.'

'i'm zach.'

'i know.'

in my hand i had a can of beer. in my other hand, i had a bottle of beer. i held out the can to zach.

he took the bottle instead. we could both tell that we were both already in too deep, but something made us both want to drink more.

'having fun?'

'nah.' zach took a long swig from the bottle. i followed suit with my can.

'school is shit sometimes.'

'all the drama. all the...being someone else, and not being who _you_ actually are.'

'yeah.'

'all the relationships that seem real. all the girls who think you like them, when really...' zach's voice trailed off.

we stared at each other. could it be?

'wanna get out of here?'

'seems like a good idea.'

so we did, with our alcohol in our hands.

we walked out of the dorm room in silence.

'my house is near here.' zach spoke. i nodded.

we walked off campus in silence.

'i...i don't even know you that well.' i said silently as zach unlocked his front door.

'but something...tells me that at this moment, we're both comfortable with each other.'

zach looked at me with wonder in his eyes. understanding. worry, but also...satisfaction.

we both knew.

'no one home?'

'no.' zach made me follow him inside.

setting our beers down at the table, we still looked at each other.

something must have brought us here tonight.

something we must have been looking for ever since we started college.

no one but ourselves knew that the girls who liked us didn't have a chance.

'i'm new...at this.' zach said, playing with his shirt sleeve. i nodded. stepped closer.

'me too.'

another step.

'but i want this.'

another.

'we'll be okay.'

stop.

'anything could happen.'

a whisper.

'we only have one life.'

we were only a few inches apart. i slid my arms around his waist.

'i know.'

i leaned close, and pressed my lips against his.

zach pressed his chest against mine. my movements became slower.

his fingers, going through my hair. a slight pull.

a curse, from me.

my lips moved to his neck. his collarbone.

a moan, from him.

' _fuck_ ,' zach whispered, his mouth wide open.

i tilted my head up to make eye contact with him, my nose brushing against his skin.

he lay his head back, asking. i answered. more kisses, one by one on his neck.

my hands gripped his waist tighter. his fingers pulled on my hair.

a groan.

'more.' a powerful word.

zach moved even closer, no space between us. i moved my hands to his belt loops, tugging.

zach moved away.

sounds of panting.

a want, and a need.

i watched him as his pants fell to the floor.

zach moved back to me, his arms wrapping around my neck. his lips touched mine, hard.

our tongues moved together, translating words we didn't need to say.

i bit his lip.

a moan.

zach's slow hands found the hem of my shirt. he pulled it up and over my head.

left kisses all over my shoulders. each one burned as if he was made of fire.

i bit my lip as i watched him get rid of all his clothes except one. and did the same.

under his watch.

he stepped close to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. another kiss to my lips.

'slowly.'

yet another powerful word.

zach took his time leaving more kisses from my neck to my waist, until he reached fabric.

i tucked my thumbs into the waist. pulled down. and off.

zach looked up at me, his eyes clouded with lust.

my eyes mirrored his.

i pulled him closer. placed my mouth on his neck. and sucked.

small red marks were left everywhere i could reach, earning a moan for each one.

just for me.

'hurry.' zach whispered.

my hand went down, into the fabric. against his waist.

his back curved, chest against mine. a sweet sound from him.

i couldn't get enough.

soft touches gave me more.

zach's hands on my back. nails making red lines appear.

more sounds.

suddenly, one hand on my shoulder, pushing me onto a couch.

i lay back. zach settled himself on top of me, kissing me harshly.

my arms wrapped around his small waist. moving against my own.

slowly. then fast.

hearing zach's sounds made me want to scream.

my lips pressed against his, silencing them.

with hunger. drive.

zach's fingers through my hair. pushing me over the edge.

i gripped his waist in my hands, making him grind onto me harder.

his eyes closed tightly, his hands moving onto my shoulders. pressure.

i stared at his bottom lip, pulled into his mouth. red marks where he bit, almost too hard.

stop.

zach didn't move...too close.

he raised himself above me, kissing from my neck to my shoulders.

more red marks on my skin.

eased himself onto me.

surrounding me.

a loud groan.

zach's eyes flew open, his strained moans escaping his lips.

then, movement.

immediate pleasure.

my hands gripped his waist as if he'd disappear if i let go.

zach kept a hand in my hair and his other on my shoulder.

one of my hands on his waist.

another around him.

i watched him.

go up.

then down.

eyes shut tight.

endless sounds.

endless movement.

endless pleasure.

i raised my hips up to meet him, moving faster.

our eyes locked on each other's.

watching how we both reacted.

enjoying everything we saw.

feeling amazing.

before the end, i raised up and stayed in place.

zach tilted his head back and panted.

sweat, bite marks and red prints all over our bodies.

both of us shaking.

my hand in place.

he moved slightly.

and just like that...

...finished.

at the same time.

zach lay on top of me, relaxing in my arms.

tired bodies in contact with each other.

more kisses.

on our mouths...necks...faces.

more deep kisses.

hands exploring, all over.

warm skin to warm skin.

zach loved it when i pressed my lips to his neck.

i loved it when he kissed me and moved his fingers through my hair.

most of all...

...we'd both found someone.

who could set us free.


	2. the one i love*: daniel and jonah

jonah.

i never thought i would fall for him.

in all the livestreams i've done, i've always said i wasn't gay.

now, that was a lie.

now...he's mine.

daniel james seavey.

we've been together since last year.

and my heart breaks every time we need to hide our love from the public.

'maybe this could work,' he tells me, before we go onstage.

'but we both don't want to be like this.'

'yes, i know. but i'll be perfectly fine as long as i'm able to be with you.'

and he presses his lips to mine.

our hands collide together, our fingers intertwining, our foreheads against one another.

i want to stay like this forever.

but the show must go on.

so we continued performing, with smiles on our faces...

...while we both just wanted to hug and kiss in front of the whole world.

and then after, when we went home to our LA band house, daniel and i had time together.

without a second thought, daniel pulled me into our room and kissed me.

we both knew what we wanted to do.

at times like these, we were able to be ourselves. we don't always have privacy out there.

we don't always have the time to show our love.

so i kissed him back.

daniel's lips were closed, but i wanted more.

sliding my tongue across his bottom lip made him understand.

i brought my hand up to his hair and brushed my fingers through, our tongues exploring each other's mouths.

daniel moaned at the feeling, and i began to kiss him even harder.

hearing him make a sound like that always drove me wild.

daniel's hands slid down my sides, stopping at my waist.

i took his face in my hands and then pulled away, placing more kisses on his cheeks, his lips, then his neck.

my lips touched the skin between his chin and his shoulders, biting and sucking.

daniel's mouth stayed open, giving me more sounds that i loved.

'i love you,' he repeated, with every kiss from me.

even as he spoke, i kissed him and felt his voice against me.

daniel placed his hands on my shoulders and backed me up as we kissed, and kept on moving until the backs of my knees touched the bed.

i lay down, grabbing the hem of my boyfriend's shirt and pulling it off as fast as i possibly could.

as soon as i saw his skin, i covered it in soft kisses. i flipped us so i was hovering over him, my hands on his waist.

daniel looked down at me as i kissed lines from his shoulders down to his waist, with his eyes following my every move.

every kiss made him sigh in reply.

when my lips reached his belt, i made no hesitation in taking it off and sliding his jeans down ever so slowly.

daniel grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled slightly, in response to me palming him through his boxers.

he was already straining against the fabric, and when i hooked my index fingers on his waistband and pulled down, i saw his full length.

daniel exhaled loudly, glad to be free of the restraining fabric.

i licked my lips and saw him watching me out of the corner of my eye.

i watched as he sat up, his arms wrapping around my neck and pulling me closer.

'i need you,' daniel whispered, pressing his lips harshly against mine.

we continued to kiss until we had to pull back for air.

daniel traced a line with his fingers down to the waistband of my boxers and pulled them down.

as i stepped out of them, i could see that daniel couldn't wait another second.

'please, jonah, hurry. i need you, right now.' he demanded.

i bit my lip, slightly amused by the sound of his needy voice.

'beg for me.' i pushed his shoulders back down onto the bed, preventing him from moving.

daniel furrowed his eyebrows in desperation, his eyes clouded with lust.

'jonah. please, i'm b-begging you...i need you inside me. i want to feel you.' his voice got more silent with every word.

as he spoke, i slowly straddled him and began to grind down on him, skin against skin.

more soft sounds came from his mouth, but when they began to get louder, i stopped moving.

daniel laced his fingers with mine, biting his bottom lip harshly.

i lowered my head down to press my lips to his skin once again.

on his chest.

down to his stomach.

and right near the place he wanted my lips to be.

a loud moan came from daniel. he squeezed my hand, and i took him into my mouth until my nose touched his skin.

curses came from his lips. i reached my hand down and started to give myself relief, because as every second passed, the more i wanted to have daniel surrounding me.

'jonah, i'm about to...i can't take it anymore.' daniel whined, his back arching in order to drive himself deeper into my mouth.

i moved my head up and kissed him again in reply.

'do you want me to prepare you?' i asked softly in his ear, and daniel shook his head.

i kissed his neck once again, leaving more marks that made him move against me.

'i just want to feel you.' daniel replied, his voice slightly above a whisper.

in response, i bit my lip and grabbed his hand once again.

with my other, i positioned myself at his entrance and pushed in slowly.

another loud moan.

i was surprised at how well he was taking me in. i was going to speak, but i couldn't. my mind was racing.

he makes me feel so good, inside and out.

more sounds came from the both of us as i moved, and i placed my hands on his waist to steady him.

i moved slightly to the left, and i hit the spot where he needed me the most.

daniel cried out in pleasure, and a soft smile came across my face in reply.

i moved down to kiss him while i still kept my pace, and his arms wrapped around me again.

he held me close while i kept my rhythm, panting with every thrust.

daniel kissed me repeatedly, the volume of his moans increasing as time passed.

he moved one of his hands through my hair sloppily, and i could tell he wasn't able to focus.

'you're so tight.'

i could barely speak. pleasure was constantly coursing through my body because of how tightly daniel was surrounding me.

he replied by pressing his lips against my neck, biting and sucking and leaving a mark.

a few minutes later, i could tell we were both nearing our highs.

daniel's fingers gripped my hair as i sped up, both of us overcome with pleasure.

the only sounds we could hear were from each other, and skin slapping skin.

when i took pictures with my mind to think about this moment in the future, i could tell daniel was doing the same thing.

'i'm so in love with you,' daniel whispered into my ear, and when we kissed...

we both finished.

'and i'm even more in love with you.' i replied between heavy breaths, placing kisses on his lips, his cheeks, his forehead.

i collapsed beside him on the bed, our hands intertwined in between us.

daniel turned to face me, moving his free hand through my hair as we made eye contact with each other.

times like these gave us both so much energy. so much life.

so many reasons to continue our relationship, even though we couldn't be public...yet.

i moved so our foreheads touched, and daniel closed his eyes.

i looked him over, taking in how beautiful my boyfriend was.

and then he opened his eyes, and i got lost in them for the millionth time.

every time i looked into his eyes, i saw possibilities.

a future where we didn't have to be so private with how much we loved each other.

a future where we could go around the world hand in hand, not having to worry about interviewers and paparazzi constantly asking us if we have a girlfriend yet or if we've ever been in love.

with daniel, i could never stop learning about love. everyday i'm with him, i'm happy.

and whenever i see his face, i see the love i have for him reflected back to me...in his eyes.

ever since the first time i've kissed him, i knew.

he's the only person in the world who could help me to discover what i truly want in life...

...which is to live it with the person i love.


	3. what you want*: jonah and zach

zach.

jonah and i just got back home from our date, celebrating our one year anniversary of being a couple.

and i could tell something was different.

during the whole walk home from the nearby restaurant, jonah kept on glancing at me.

i kept looking back at him, but when he saw me do so, he looked at the sky and had a half-smile, half-smirk.

when we walked into the house, i spoke.

'i love us.' i breathed, watching jonah as he took off his jacket and tossed it onto the couch.

our house, shared with the rest of the band, was very modern...but the amount of teenage guys living in it made it seem even more homey.

'and i do too.' jonah said, looking at me and smiling brightly.

he stepped closer to me and held both my hands, swinging them back and forth.

i walked backwards to the couch, sitting down while he stood in front of me.

we smiled softly at each other.

'anyone else home?' jonah asked aloud.

'didn't they tell us they were going to the bowling alley tonight since today was our date?' i replied.

jonah tilted his head to the side, then nodded.

'so it's just us.' he said.

i smiled, watching his eyes as they stared back into mine.

'just us.'

jonah leaned close to me slowly, our lips meeting each other in a soft kiss.

closing my eyes, i leaned even closer and wrapped my arms around his neck.

jonah sat down next to me as we kissed, then pulled away.

'i know we've only been together for a year, but...i just feel like, as the years pass, we'll grow to be so much more.' i spoke.

'really?' jonah said. i nodded slowly.

'well then...' jonah paused. and leaned closer, placing a kiss on my temple. i closed my eyes.

'tell me what we could do.' he spoke slowly.

'what _i_ could do.'

i opened my eyes, turning to him. his face was inches away from mine, his brown eyes staring deeply into mine.

absentmindedly, i found myself pulling my bottom lip into my mouth and biting harshly.

jonah always knew how to do things to me, things that i've never even imagined.

my eyes flickered from his own...to his lips. and back again.

jonah smirked, leaning a little closer. the tip of his nose touched mine.

he moved so his lips were right by my ear, and then he whispered.

'tell me what you want me to do.'

those eight words made me close my eyes again, my teeth going down on my lip even harder now.

i could hear jonah's light breathing right next to me, and then i felt his hand around mine.

'tell me what you want.' he repeated.

i nodded, turning my head towards his voice but keeping my eyes closed.

as time passed, it was clear that he wasn't just talking about our relationship.

i felt his lips touch mine, softly, then harshly.

but after only a few seconds, he pulled away once again.

'i'll only know what to do if you tell me.'

my eyes fluttered open. jonah was watching me with a funny look, as if he knew how he made me feel.

he probably did.

'okay...' my voice was so soft, i almost couldn't hear myself speak.

jonah scooted closer to me on the couch, then motioned for me to talk.

i swallowed, then actually began to think seriously.

'i...i want you to kiss me.' i started. i closed my eyes.

i heard a small laugh, and then jonah pressed his lips to mine for a split second.

at that moment, i felt like i wanted to laugh, but at the same time...i was starting to feel frustrated.

i was starting to feel needy.

'i want you to kiss me harder...longer.' i continued. silence.

i felt jonah's hand on the side of my neck, his thumb on my cheek.

then, he kissed me _hard_. i tilted my head to the right for a better position, in order to be closer to him.

i wrapped my arms around his neck again and pulled him tighter.

then i realized i wanted more than just a kiss.

i moved away, licking my lips and feeling the warmth of jonah's kiss.

'i w-want you to touch me.'

halfway through the sentence, i knew he wouldn't follow my order unless i was specific. i scrambled to rearrange my words.

'i want you to kiss me on my neck...and hug me.'

slowly but surely, i felt jonah press his lips to my neck and envelop me in his strong arms.

i leaned into his embrace, arching my back so our chests pressed together.

'suck,' the word suddenly came out of my mouth.

i felt jonah smile against my skin, and then i felt his lips press harder onto my neck.

then i felt his teeth, gently biting into my skin while he made a mark with his lips.

i tilted my head back to give him more space, parting my lips and letting out a moan.

jonah's arms tightened around me, and he slowly lay me back onto the couch.

he raised his body over me, his knees on either side of my legs. i slid my hand down and found the hem of his shirt, pulling it up.

'take off your shirt,' i ordered softly, and jonah moved away. i watched him as he slowly tucked his fingers under his hem, and then slipped off his shirt at a snail's pace.

i should have told him to take it off in one second.

while he did that, i was unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them off, feeling immediate relief because of how much they were restraining me.

jonah smiled down at me, lowering his body once again and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

'now you.' i smirked at him. he slid off his jeans in front of me.

my eyes immediately explored his skin, noticing all the crevices that i wanted to hiss myself.

i reached my arms up to wrap around his neck, and i pulled him into a kiss.

i could tell jonah wanted more too, with his tongue sliding across my bottom lip to ask for entrance.

i parted my lips slightly, and soon enough, our kiss grew deeper.

jonah's hands were on either side of me, planted firmly on the couch so he could stabilize himself.

i moved my hands down to his waist, drawing my fingers up and down his back.

in my mind i knew that in a short amount of time, my nails would be digging into his skin.

when i touched my fingers on his back, jonah's waist lowered to meet mine.

i guess...i didn't have to tell him what i wanted anymore. he already knew.

' _fuck_ ,' jonah cursed, and the sound of his deep, gravelly voice saying a curse word nearly pushed me over the edge right there and then.

the fact that we all don't curse in public makes me want to hear him curse even more, just for me. _because_ of me.

jonah began to grind down on me, and i let out several moans every time his crotch came in contact with mine.

he put all his weight on his right hand, sliding his left hand down on my chest and to my boxers.

jonah tucked one finger into the waistband, tugging down until my knees were preventing it from coming completely off.

i took each of my legs out, then wrapped them around jonah's waist until the only thing that was preventing him from being free was the fabric of his boxers.

jonah bit his lip against me, letting out a low groan. my back arched in response to the sound...he knew that every time he makes a sound he drives me _wild_.

'hurry,' i muttered, grabbing the waistband of his boxers and pulling them down so fast, i made jonah laugh.

'don't worry, baby. i need you that much, too.' jonah replied, kissing me hard again and making me moan against his lips as he grinded down on me again.

'but...tonight i wanted to give you what you want...what you need.' i watched with large eyes as jonah moved even lower so his shoulders were aligned with my waist.

by now, i was hella hard, and all i could think about was jonah fucking me into tomorrow, but apparently, that wasn't going to happen...yet.

jonah wrapped one hand around me and started moving his hand up and down, finally giving me the friction i _needed_. i put my hands behind my head, leaning back and letting out a loud moan.

'keep your eyes on me,' jonah murmured, and i obeyed. his face was dangerously close to my dick, and before i could say anything else, he parted his beautiful fucking lips and started sucking me off.

'holy _fucking_ sh-shit, oh my god,' i nearly shouted, my voice straining against me preventing myself from actually screaming. while jonah's left hand assisted him in getting my whole length, his right hand met my left and intertwined our fingers together.

when jonah hummed against me, i was in pure ecstasy, and i could tell jonah knew. his eyes were trained on me, and every time i let out a moan, he increased his fucking speed in moving his head up and down.

i was seeing stars by the time i actually released.

jonah knew the right time to move away, because when i let go, i made a mess all over my chest...and a little on jonah's face.

i was blushing like _mad_ by then, and i covered my face with my hands while trying to calm the fuck down. my heart was racing due to jonah getting me to my high...and even higher.

i blinked several times, trying to regain my focus on him. jonah moved back up to me, pressing his lips to mine while i noticed his hand was going down to his own dick.

'you don't h-have to p-prep me, j-just d-do it,' i whispered against his lips, and he smiled in reply. he touched his forehead to mine.

'you sure?'

i nodded eagerly, wanting to feel him inside me as soon as possible.

jonah responded by pushing his tip in, watching my reaction. i bit my bottom lip, trying not to make a sound. but, of course, when he went all the way in, i was done for.

his face was right above mine while he began to move, going out and then pushing right back in. it was to the point where i didn't know what to do with my hands, grabbing the air in order to hold something.

just like i thought of before, i traced my fingers up and down his back, and when jonah started speeding up his pace, i was a moaning mess.

my nails ran down his back, possibly making angry red lines appear. i honestly couldn't think much about anything at all, because i was feeling _so amazing_.

jonah repeatedly kissed me--my mouth, my forehead, my neck, any place he could reach.

all we could hear was the sounds we both made, in addition to skin slapping skin.

'i l-love you, z,' jonah groaned against my neck, and i replied by moving one hand into his hair and kissing him _hard_.

'i love you so much more, j,' i spoke against his lips.

jonah pounded into me faster and faster, until he had to pull out.

instead of cleaning up the messes we made after that, jonah and i decided that all we wanted to do was stay on that couch until we could hear one of the guys at the door.

jonah grabbed the largest blanket we could find--it might have been jack's duvet, but no one cared at the moment--and covered the both of us with it, even though our bodies gave off so much heat...and i would take jonah's arms over a blanket any day.

as we lay there in silence, nothing but darkness outside the windows, jonah kissed me.

this was our time to spend with each other, and we both made sure we didn't waste it.

jonah continuously makes me feel so happy, even if we're not in the same room, even if i don't see his face.

my heart continuously beats just for him.

and when the guys walked into the house, with jack waking us up by yelling 'where'd my duvet go', i was happy to open my eyes and see my beautiful boyfriend smiling back at me.


	4. in the clouds: corbyn and jonah

jonah.

today me and the guys woke up in san francisco.

the hotels there are always so nice...

...but the thing that made hotels even better was that corbyn always wakes up next to me.

we've been dating for a few years now, but i can't wait to be with him for so many more.

today was going to be a special one.

"what do you wanna do today?" i whispered to him, acknowledging the fact that the other guys were still sleeping.

it was quite early in the morning--around six or seven o'clock.

"i dunno..." corbyn mumbled, looking back at me and pressing his lips to my cheek for a short second.

"how about we go somewhere?" i asked.

he raised his eyebrows.

"where?"

"well, i've heard of this neat space museum in san francisco, and--"

"space museum?" corbyn's eyes widened. i knew he loved space so much, and i loved his reaction.

without a sound, corbyn got out of bed and started to change into his outfit for the day.

"i'm guessing you wanna go there?" i laughed silently, my voice still just above a whisper.

"i'm just glad we don't have a fixed schedule today, babe," corbyn giggled, sitting on the edge of the bed once he was finished dressing.

i agreed with him, lifting up the covers and standing up.

i shrugged on a white shirt and a black denim jacket, along with some black joggers.

before we headed out the door, i watched corbyn grab daniel's balenciaga crossbody off one of the room's chairs and put it on.

i smiled at him.

"what?" corbyn smiled back. "the outfit decides what matches. whatever resources are available...i'll use."

that humorous sparkle in his eye. that perfect sense of humor.

that's what i live for.

we walked out of the hotel and flagged down a taxi, and i got into the backseat of the car with corbyn.

"the uss hornet sea, air and space museum, please," i said to the driver.

he turned to face me with a worried expression on his face.

"it's not...open yet?" he laughed nervously. i shook my head with a smile.

"it's alright, sir. we'd just like to get there early so we could go in first." i replied.

the driver stared at me for a few seconds, then shrugged.

"yeah, i get that...but four hours early?" he whispered. luckily, corbyn didn't hear him say that, but i did.

both him and corbyn didn't know. and i wanted to keep it that way.

while the driver brought us to our destination, i looked over at corbyn, who was busy filming a timelapse of the road for his snapchat.

recognizing the passion he has for photography always makes my heart swell.

i have the most talented person in the world as my boyfriend.

and he makes me feel like the luckiest guy in the world, too.

a short while later, the taxi pulled up to the drop off area in front of the ship.

corbyn got off the car with me following, and then i turned back to the driver.

"thanks, man." i said, handing him his payment, with a huge tip. he nodded to me after he took it, giving me a quizzical stare.

i nearly laughed out loud because of his questioning look.

both him and corbyn didn't know.

"have fun at the museum, then!" the driver exclaimed, then drove off into the distance.

corbyn took my hand as soon as he left, and i kissed him on the cheek.

"you're gonna love this, i swear to god." i said, walking towards the bridge which led to the ship's entrance. corbyn stopped.

"where are you going?" he said between laughs. "it's not even open yet, babe."

i shook my head, then switched on my 'sarcastic-and-clueless' voice.

"what do you mean? of course it's open!" i giggled, pulling him along. i stopped at the bridge's gate, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"baaabe, it's not open, are you okay?" corbyn laughed harder, pointing at the locked gate. "we can't even go on the bridge."

"we're lucky we even got here in time. people are gonna start flocking here in a few hours." i said, eyeing the ship's entrance.

any second now.

i checked my phone. seven thirty-two. shouldn't it have opened? where is he?

"okay, hold on. i just gotta--" i began, but then the ship's entrance door swung open.

finally.

"mr. jonah marais." a tall man stepped out, dressed in a suit.

corbyn gasped, and his hands flew to cover his face. my smile grew big.

corbyn uncovered his face and stared at me.

"you _didn't_." he breathed. i smirked.

"jonah, you _fucking_ didn't." corbyn cursed. i threw my head back and laughed out loud.

his surprised reactions are priceless.

the man walked across the bridge and reached out his hand for a handshake. i took it, and corbyn watched us in awe.

"you msut be corbyn." the man added. corbyn nodded slowly, giving him a handshake too.

"welcome to the uss hornet. i hope you two have prepared for the amazing tour you're about to have?" the man asked us. i nodded, and corbyn nodded quickly.  
'  
"well...if i knew this was going to happen, i wouldn't have worn these shoes?!?" corbyn laughed, doing a little dance step with excitement and showing off his yeezys.

i laughed, wrapping my arm around his waist again.

the man introduced himself as 'anthony', and then he unlocked the gate.

we followed him up to the ship's entrance door, and when he opened it...

the whole world probably heard corbyn say 'oh my fucking god'.

right after he said it he covered his mouth and looked at anthony.

anthony laughed, bypassing the word with a wave of his hand.

"well, obviously, the whole ship is yours for a hot minute, so you could do whatever you want." anthony stated with a smile.

corbyn playfully hit my shoulder.

"babe, you totally didn't have to do this for me!!!" corbyn exclaimed, but his smile brightened up the whole room.

i was glad to see he was grateful for my present to him, even if he was most likely gonna lecture me later about how much money i could have saved for myself.

he cares so much for me, sometimes i just wanna cry tears of joy every time i see him.

what can i say? that's love.

"this is...i have no words for this. amazing can't even reach this standard, babe." corbyn said, walking further into the ship.

anthony began to walk us through the hallways, talking about the ship's history, and everything else.

corbyn was hanging on his every word, nodding with every sentence. he was paying attention and getting all the amazing information, but...

...i wasn't. all i could think about was the promise i made when we started being a couple.

from that day on...and for every date after...i silently made a promise that every date or surprise would be better than the next.

i'd do anything for him. i always want him to be happy.

and as we finished the full tour of the museum and walked outside...

i have never felt so sure about anything else in my life as i took out a small, black velvet box that held our future inside of it.

and as corbyn answered my question with that amazing, three-letter word...

i knew that my promise will never be broken.


	5. online dating: corbyn and daniel

daniel.

today was the day.

my friends always told me that it would be a really bad idea if i started online dating.

even though they told me not to, it's to the point where i really want to find a boyfriend.

every past experience was horrible. in school, all the guys seemed to be straight, and i never had the courage to flirt, or to talk to random guys.

once i started online dating, i felt like this was going to be the time when i find the right guy.

"what would happen when you set up a meeting with him? you better be in a safe place and everything. i don't want you to get abducted by some random old dude, bro," one of my friends, jack, told me when i downloaded the app.

"don't worry, please, i'm sure you'll be there with me to make sure i won't get killed." i laughed then, playfully batting his shoulder with my phone.

but he was right.

in this world, there were catfishes, there were pedophiles, there were crazy people...i didn't know what i was getting into.

until i found the 'good' side of online dating.

during the past few weeks, i've been texting this guy under the name of 'corbynwithay1998', and i swear to god, he's one of the nicest people i've ever met.

except--i've never met him in person. only on the app. without knowing what his face looked like. without knowing what his name was. i was clueless.

the only things i knew about him was that he really liked playing video games, he really liked computer science and technology in general, and that in another life, he would be an astronaut.

but that was still enough information for me to start having feelings for him.

we've had many conversations, about school, about life, about our families, and he seems so _real_.

my heart has the possibility of being broken if he isn't what he says he is.

we've even talked about the times when we've questioned our sexuality, and he always manages to turn my depressing day around if i text him that i felt like shit.

he was always on my mind, ever since i started liking him.

and then he asked if we could meet.

first i started acting really hostile, seeing how jack continuously reminded me on how dangerous a meeting could be. "abducted" this, "killed" that, and other things.

but my heart always started beating faster whenever i thought about the chance of meeting the guy i think i'm starting to fall in love with.

so then i agreed.

we set up a meeting place near where i lived, and i chose a popular bart station where a lot of people go for transportation to other popular places.

my mind goes all over the place whenever i thought about how we can actually start talking to each other in person rather than over a text on an app.

and now here i am, once again, feeling lost in my thoughts while i'm sitting on a bench in that bart station.

incoming texts from jack made my phone light up several times, constantly reminding me where he was waiting in his red truck outside and telling me where the emergency exits were in the building just in case the worst happened.

but jack's incoming texts weren't as fast as corbynwithay1998's.

the guy kept on texting me that he was so excited, to see my face in person for the first time, to hear my voice for the first time, to hold my hand for the first time...

and my heart kept melting and then fixing itself over and over again.

i repeatedly looked to the left and to the right, even though i knew when the guy's train would arrive and where he's coming from. i felt so giddy.

i bet all the people who walked past me thought i was crazy.

tapping my foot, swiveling my head left and right, biting my lip because of anxiety...i didn't know what else could help me to calm down.

and when the electronic female voice announced that corbynwithay1998's train was coming in, last minute thoughts filled up my brain.

my anxiety overpowered me. just for a few minutes, but it was still breaking me down.

for a moment i thought about leaving and never coming back, and deleting the app and pretending nothing ever happened.

i made a huge mistake. he's just going to be a random guy who'll kidnap me and i'll never see the light of day again.

all the texts were just messing with my mind. the guy just wants to know all about my private life and i bet he just laughs every time i send something too deep.

i bet he shows all my stupid texts to his friends, and then they all laugh at how emotional and stupid i am, thinking that he genuinely likes me.

i blinked and i realized that i was already standing up and walking towards the exit. my palms were sweaty, my face stuck in a permanent frown...

what had gotten into me?

i held my face in my hands, oblivious to people pushing past me and wondering what this crazy guy was doing in the middle of a bart station.

all the stupid thoughts from my mind went away then, and one thought came up.

no matter what...if this guy's a fake, if he's horrible...i should still wait here and find out what happens.

i need to know if the time i spent using the dating app was a waste...or, miraculously, not.

i checked my phone one last time before putting it in my pocket.

a one-word text popped up, from him.

"here."

my head snapped up, and i looked around.

i remembered his description of what he looked like, with blonde hair, blue eyes, a small scar on his neck, a tall and skinny build, probably wearing a black t-shirt, white jacket and a long necklace...

and i hoped he remembered how i described my own looks. brown hair, tall and skinny, ocean eyes.

and then i saw him.

he...was real.

he was true to his words.

he wasn't a catfish.

and he had this...this _smile_.

it's like he already knew i'd be waiting there.

he was walking out of the bart train several feet away, but we maintained eye contact with each other.

we both didn't want to look away.

i was still standing in the same place, by the exit, with my hands in my pockets.

then he started walking towards me...

slow. fast. faster. running. sprinting.

and i was doing the same thing.

but something made me screech to a halt right before we collided.

even though we could already tell that we found who we were looking for, the right person...

i thought about what might happen.

a long distance relationship, maybe?

him moving into my apartment, or me moving into his, wherever it was?

or even worse...a break up?

but then his eyes pulled me back to focus on the better things.

and...

 _his voice_.

"finally." he spoke. that was the first word he said to me.

i watched him with soft eyes, admiring the way his smile stayed in place.

"yeah...finally." i replied, my voice barely above a whisper, but he still heard it among the noise of the people around us.

i held up my phone, which was open to his profile on the app.

"c-o-r-b-y-n-w-i-t-h-a-y-1998?" i spelled out loud, then immediately felt dumb because i still didn't understand what those letters meant. but then again, i still felt shocked because of the fact that i managed to speak to him.

"corbyn...with a 'y'. the year i was born." corbyn answered. he gave me the sweetest and most genuine laugh after he finished explaining his username. my heart...swelled.

"daniel." i replied. i reached a hand out, ready to do a handshake with him, but he didn't take my hand.

"daniel," corbyn breathed. suddenly, i loved my name. i loved the way it sounded with his voice. his voice.

i smiled and hugged myself with my arms.

then he hugged me.

all the missing pieces...

along with some new pieces...

of the confusing yet amazing puzzle of my life came together to form a masterpiece.

this is what living felt like.

this is what a life without anxiety felt like.

this is...the right way to live life.

feeling his arms tightened around me made me feel complete.

i hugged him back, tucking my head into his shoulder and absentmindedly touching the tip of my nose to his neck.

perfection.

i've finally found it.

i've finally found... _him_.


	6. rights and wrongs: corbyn and jack

corbyn.

there are those days when our lives seem perfect.

we wake up next to each other, my husband and i, and our day just--falls into line.

but then there are those days when i can't stand being with him.

like today.

just this morning, i got a little triggered just because i saw him put ketchup on his scrambled eggs.

jack looked up when he felt my eyes on him. we stared at each other for a few seconds before i finally spoke.

"that's...not right." i stated. jack, who was chewing on his red-painted eggs, raised his eyebrows a little.

"huh?" he replied. i waited for him to finish his bite, then i spoke again.

"why do you--how do you deal with the ketchup flavor on your eggs? that's so--" i stopped, trying to imagine how that'd taste like. jack shrugged.

"babe, i've been doing this ever since we started dating, and you know i like my eggs that way. now you're telling me?" he laughed.

if this was another day, i would have started laughing with him because of how contagious his laugh was to me, but today...

i don't know.

i just wasn't feeling it.

"yeah, because it's such a weird thing to do. eggs should just be eaten by itself, without any toppings on it." i scooped up a piece of my own scrambled eggs, perfectly yellow and not--infected with any red tomato splotches.

"well, that's how i've eaten it my whole life." jack said, taking another bite.

i continued to stare at him while we ate.

then the afternoon rolled around, and that's when i started getting pissed at another minor thing he did.

constant sounds of thumping filled the room when ever jack's phone landed in his hand, after he flipped it so many times.

i was on my laptop, uploading data onto a drive, so i was quiet...but all i could think about was that thumping.

he was just sitting on the couch and staring off into space, and flipping his phone, over and over again.

i was glad that he had a day off from work.

i was glad that i had a day off from work too...

and we should have been out somewhere, hanging out together, making up for lost times when we both have long shifts at work.

but something just kept ticking me off about him.

the thumping continued.

thump.

thump.

thump.

i looked over at jack, who was still staring outside of the window, and i tried to mentally converse with him so that he would just stop flipping his _fucking_ phone.

but he didn't get the message.

so, without thinking...i found myself pushing out my chair, closing my laptop screen, and walking fast over to where he was sitting.

my hand snatched his phone out of the air mid-flip before i was even able to process my actions.

jack flinched.

complete silence.

he slowly looked up at me, his eyes scanning my face.

"stop." the word escaped my mouth. "please."

"i'm sorry, babe, i didn't know that i was bothering you," jack whispered.

at the moment, it seemed as if our voices had to be lowered to a whisper. there was something there.

this felt so...weird.

"i--it's okay." i managed to say. i slowly handed him his phone, with my free hand going to my forehead.

this all felt so weird.

i noticed jack's worried expression. he placed his hand on my hip, his fingers slowly brushing across my shirt.

"babe, talk to me." his soft voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

he could read me like a book.

i sat down next to him and leaned back on the couch, and jack naturally moved his fingers through mine.

for a moment, we both sat there in silence.

i felt like that would be enough for me to get out of this...weird...funk, but no.

jack was right, i needed to talk to him.

"i just..." i began, but i couldn't find the words.

jack turned his head towards me and patiently waited for me to continue, his thumb rubbing against mine.

"i don't--know."

jack nodded slowly.

"and that's perfectly fine." he replied.

i moved closer to him so our shoulders were pressed against each other, and i felt jack give me a kiss on the cheek.

and then i found the words.

"...sometimes, i don't know, i just...i just find some annoying things about you. and i feel horrible." i rushed out.

jack shook his head then.

"like i said, corbyn, that's perfectly fine. everyone goes through that. i found some annoying things about my mom, my sisters, my dad, my stepdad..." jack's voice trailed off.

"but the reason why is because...i really love them, and i know a lot about them." he finished.

i silently listened to him as he spoke.

"maybe...what i'm starting to realize is that, maybe because i've known you for so long, i know all of your weird ass ticks and everything that you do on a daily basis." i started thinking out loud. jack nodded, smiling softly.

but then my slight smile turned back into a frown.

"but i don't want you to have to deal--i don't want you to have to experience me, bugging you, about that. that's _you_. and if i start hating that more...i don't want you to think that i'm starting to hate _you_."

jack furrowed his eyebrows, reaching up his free hand to gently brush his fingers through my hair.

"believe me, babe...even if you start commenting more about my 'weird ass ticks', i'll always know that you love me with all your heart." jack's smile grew bigger.

i tilted my head, showing my confusion.

"how do you know that?" i asked him. jack chuckled to himself.

"i know you love me with all your heart...because if you didn't, you wouldn't have talked to me about this." jack reasoned, raising his eyebrows.

i stared at our joined hands, at jack's thumb rubbing against mine so carefully, at his tattoos, at my rings.

they were all so different.

but it just felt... _right_.

my heartbeat slowed down...my breathing grew steady.

jack kissed me on the cheek again, but before he moved away, i turned to face him.

my eyes flickered from his, to his lips.

and he got my message this time.

i closed my eyes as he pressed his lips to mine, softly brushing against each other's ever so gently.

and i realized...

today, it was so quick for me to notice the wrong things about him.

but now, during moments like these...

this feels so _right_.


	7. nsfw*: daniel and jack

jack.

i was called to work really early today, probably because i was one of the new interns.

i wasn't even able to stop by starbucks to get my coffee.

as soon as i walked into the building, i saw the other new interns start walking towards one of the conference rooms.

"do you know why we're being called in?" i asked zach, who was one of the interns i had met during our previous trainings.

he shrugged, following me into the conference room.

judging by the nervous looks on everyone's faces, i don't think anyone knew why we were called in so early.

once we all sat down around the long table in the middle of the room, two of our head managers walked in, along with another guy who i didn't recognize.

"while we're waiting for everyone to arrive, help yourselves," one of the head managers, whose name is jonah, gestured to a plate of donuts in the middle of the table that i didn't notice.

that took a little bit of the anxiety off. jonah and corbyn, the other head manager, sat down and started taking some papers out. the guy i didn't recognize did nothing, except take a chocolate glazed donut off the plate as it was passed around.

once a few more people filed in and sat down, jonah cleared his throat.

"if any of you thought that you were called in here early because there's something wrong..." he said, his voice resonating throughout the room.

"your assumptions were correct." he finished. a small collective sigh came from every intern in the room.

"but, if you believe you're a good intern, then you have nothing to worry about." jonah continued, after everyone stopped exhaling.

he started talking more about conditioned responses and how people assume something's wrong so quickly--or something like that--but i wasn't focused on jonah.

i was focused on that mystery guy.

if i was jonah, i would have introduced him as soon as possible, but instead he left us to look and stare at him to find out anything about who he was.

and i did just that.

from top to bottom, i looked him over.

he had short hair, that was propped up by hairspray...but it still looked so amazingly natural. the perfect shade of brown.

he had bright, ocean blue eyes...but i feel like if i stared into them for too long, i'd fall apart.

he was tall...maybe around six feet?

his lips were thin, a nice shade of pink...but i bet if i kissed him, they'd feel so soft.

my eyes widened all of a sudden.

of all places, of all people...why the fuck am i thinking about his soft lips?

without warning, laughter bubbled up inside of me.

and before jonah had the chance to finish his sentence, i let out a huge, _loud_ laugh.

i slapped my hand over my mouth.

"i--i'm so sorry, sir," i stammered, my internship flashing before my eyes. what the fuck did i just get myself into?

for a second i expected jonah to start yelling at me, or telling me off in a quiet yet dangerous tone, or firing me on the spot...but to my surprise, the mystery guy stepped forward and placed a hand on jonah's shoulder.

jonah was actually about to yell at me, his mouth open, his eyebrows furrowed, but the guy's hand on his shoulder prevented him from doing so.

the guy stared at me right in the eye.

"intern, correct?" he asked jonah.

the whole room was so silent to the point where we heard a car honk--probably ten miles away.

"yeah...he's an intern." jonah replied, taking a deep breath. no one moved, no one blinked, no one breathed. including me.

"d'you mind if i talk to him for a moment?" the guy asked. jonah looked at him with wide eyes, his eyebrows raised.

"why do you need to--"

"i need to talk to him...about consequences." the guy replied. a few people started staring at me, a few others started shaking their head at me. i noticed out of the corner of my eye, zach was trying to keep himself from laughing...for some reason.

"okay, well go ahead, i guess?" jonah said.

and with that, the guy walked over to me as i stood up. he kept his eyes on me. i walked out the door, leaving the room in silence with him on my tail.

he caught up to me and then went ahead, occasionally looking back at me. we walked into an office i didn't recognize, but the situation got even more awkward when he closed the door behind me.

and locked it.

"i'm daniel." his voice startled me. i turned around to face him, and saw that he was leaning against the desk in the office, his hands propping himself up on the edge. i located the one chair in the room--directly in front of him.

but for some reason, i couldn't do it. i couldn't sit right in front of him. he was so...intimidating.

"...jack," i said from the door, leaning against the cold surface. daniel looked me up and down, from my feet to my hair. he raised one hand to his lips, his thumb pressing down on his bottom lip.

oh my god.

i gotta admit, if he was trying to make himself look hot, just casually leaning against his desk and drawing his thumb across his bottom lip...

...then he was doing so well.

"why are you here--who are you?" i asked, hoping he wasn't some random guy who walked in and knew jonah from somewhere. daniel raised an eyebrow at me, then ruffled his hair in thought. a few seconds passed before he finally answered.

"i'm...another intern. but this time, i'm involved in an internship to become one of the managers from another company, and my own head manager sent me here to observe and help other interns of a lower rank than me." he explained. i nodded, looking off to the side.

even though he just explained his role to me...it didn't help me feel any better. he's probably gonna tell jonah that i'm one of those bad interns. at this point, after all the work i've done in order to get this internship, i actually think i'd do anyth--

"do you know why i brought you in here?" he asked. i shook my head at once.

"could you guess?"

i thought for a minute. other than laughing and interrupting a seemingly important meeting...i don't think i did anything worse than that before i started being an intern. my mind was twisted. he could be calling me in here for something positive or negative...but i guess the only way i could find out is if i gave him an answer.

"maybe...because i was professionally dressed and ready for this meeting, unlike the other interns?" i laughed jokingly.

and to my surprise...

daniel started laughing with me. like, _really_ laughed. his head back, his shoulders shaking...i didn't know i was actually _that_ funny. and then he shook his head after he laughed.

"no, no, no..." he began. "although that would be a good reason to bring you in here and talk to you, i don't think it's as important. the real reason i brought you in here is because..."

his voice suddenly turned serious as he looked me in the eyes.

"...because no one else laughed. i myself, as a person, thinks that people in the workplace should be as free to laugh even if something could be really serious. lately, i don't think many people laugh anymore. i gotta admit, jack, our world's getting even more sad nowadays. when people are at work, it's all considered _work_. i know jonah was about to respond to your laughing in a negative way, but i think it's a good thing. i don't know why you laughed...but it made me feel less tense and serious in that boring-ass, gray room."

daniel stopped talking. i watched him avidly, my heart beating faster with every one of his sentence.

he liked my laughter.

he liked me, and the way i act.

he liked _me_.

"thank...you?" i said, cracking a smile. i'm pretty sure i'm blushing by now, too.

daniel stood up straight, and slowly started walking towards me. i watched him as he stopped to stand in front of me, and then i pressed my whole body against the door. he was very close to me.

we weren't touching, not even our clothes...but he felt so close to me.

"you..." daniel said softly. his voice was even clearer in my ears now. i loved it. his eyes were even brighter as they made eye contact with mine. i loved them.

"yeah?" i breathed.

"i want you." daniel came right out and said it. and in addition to that, he said it in a really, really deep voice. deeper than i've heard him talk. i was shocked.

and a little...aroused.

i bit my bottom lip. i couldn't help it. he was right there, he just spoke in a _fucking_ deep voice...and he looked so sexy. what with him wearing a full-on suit...it made him look so sophisticated, but his eyes showed something else.

"oh my...g-god," i stammered, realizing that he was coming even closer. soon enough, i felt his hands touch the sides of my waist, his fingers going through the belt loops on my pants. our crotches were both right against each other, and at that moment all i wanted him to do was move against me.

"turn around. face the wall." daniel said, his mouth so dangerously close to my ear. i bit my bottom lip again and nodded slowly, watching his eyes carefully.

i knew this was wrong. romantic or sexual stuff should never happen in a workplace. we're basically both jeopardizing our jobs, our internships, possibly even our futures.

so why did i obey him?

i slowly turned so my back was facing him, my mind racing. at first his hands still stayed on my waist, but then he moved one of them down to my leg. he slowly drew his fingers up from my knee, then up my thigh, then back to my waist, but then with the same arm, he wrapped it around my waist.

as if in a trance, i closed my eyes, leaned into him and felt his crotch right against the fabric of my pants. i could tell he was...he was getting hard.

and i was, too.

"i'm guessing that you like guys, too?" daniel whispered to me. i couldn't take it. i couldn't open my eyes, only hear his voice and feel his gentle touch. he moved his other hand...to the place i needed it most.

his fingers tucked into the waistband of my pants, then slowly moved under the fabric. i felt his hand slowly make its way to touch my boxers, and then his fingers eventually hovered over the fabric covering my dick.

just those simple movements made me get even harder, until i was straining against my pants. i put one hand against the wall to support myself, while my other hand quickly moved to my zipper. i needed friction, i needed his touch, i needed him. but i couldn't speak. i was trapped in that trance...starting from when he spoke to me with that dangerously hot voice.

"wait, baby..." daniel's voice trailed off. my lips parted, and much to my own surprise, i let out a groan. i clamped my hand over my mouth in shock, blushing like mad and mentally slapping myself in the face. i heard daniel giggle to himself. the power he had over me was dangerous.

but i wanted...needed... _more_.

"i'll do it for you." daniel whispered, then brushed his lips across my ear. his lips moved to my neck, kissing my skin from behind my ear to where my shoulder began. i tilted my head to the right, giving him more space to do his work. while he did that, his hand that was still on my waist--and not in my pants--moved to unzip them.

i still kept one of my hands on the wall, because at this point, if i didn't have the energy to keep it there, i'm pretty sure i'd un-flatteringly crumple to the ground in front of him.

as soon as daniel unzipped my pants, he slowly drew his fingers across my stomach ever so gently. every touch from him made my skin tingle, adding to the never-ending trance.

if i stopped biting my lip, i'd probably be letting out more sounds than i'd want to.

daniel's hand that was over my boxers moved away for a moment, and i opened my eyes. he slowly pulled down my pants with both of his hands now that they were both free, just enough to loosely hang under my ass. now he had full-on access to whatever was underneath my boxers.

then daniel gripped my waist again, this time pulling me closer so that my ass pressed even more against his dick. one hand stayed on my waist, and another hand moved to hold my chin. daniel turned my face towards his, and i watched him as he slowly licked his top lip. i knotted my eyebrows, my lips parting again as i let out another moan.

"stop." daniel said, his voice slightly above a whisper. my eyes widened.

"i--what did i d--"

" _don't make a sound_." daniel commanded, his voice growing a little louder.

 _fuck_.

the funniest thing was that...after he said that so seriously and in the hottest way possible, i wanted to make a sound.

but now i couldn't. i... _wasn't allowed to_.

so i covered my mouth with my hand as daniel proceeded to push me farther.

"keep your eyes on me." daniel ordered. so i did.

i watched as he moved one of his hands back to my crotch, moving even more since my pants weren't there to resist him anymore. i kept eye contact with him as he started stroking my dick through the fabric of my boxers, even as it was already making a fucking tent with it. the feeling of him doing that made me backup against him even more, and pretty sure, he was biting his bottom lip and staring at me with squinted eyes.

and then he kissed me. he pressed his lips _hard_ against mine, nearly pushing me against the wall even while my neck was turned towards him. i kissed him back, letting him push his tongue between my lips and collide with my own. his hand started moving even faster, i moved my ass against his crotch even more...

we were a mess. but i needed more from him. the problem was...i didn't know how to tell him what i wanted.

daniel suddenly stopped kissing me, licking his lips and probably savoring the taste of what used to be there.

"come here," he said slowly, keeping his hand on my boxers while his other hand started guiding my waist. he walked us backwards until he sat down on the edge of the desk, then he _finally_ turned me around to face him. his eyes looked me over once again before he spoke.

i wanted to touch him, i wanted to tear his shirt apart. i wanted to kiss his neck. i wanted to make him feel even better than he made me feel. but i felt like if i moved, or anything...he'd tell me to stop.

he controlled me.

but i wasn't prepared for him to say what he said next.

"touch yourself." he ordered. my eyes widened, but i was internally screaming.

sure, he wouldn't be the one to be giving me the touch i needed at the moment...but at least it would help me relax a little. so i obeyed.

knowing that his eyes were gonna follow every action i made, i felt a little nervous.

and so i closed my eyes and let my mind take over.

my hand slowly moved across my skin, my fingers drawing across my stomach and then my neck. i tilted my head back, biting my bottom lip harshly. my other hand moved to my dick, tucking into my boxers and then finally touching the place i needed friction the most.

with my free hand, i tucked my fingers into the waistband of my boxers and pulled it down until it fell onto my jeans. i started feeling even more anxious, thinking about what daniel would be seeing...but then i started thinking about him more.

his facial features, his beautiful eyes, how his pupils got bigger when he stared at me...the way he licked his lips.

i gently wrapped my fingers around my dick and started moving them, giving me the pleasure that i've been waiting for ever since daniel started kissing my neck. my mind raced, my thoughts going to the actions daniel could have done to me.

i pictured his hand as mine, moving ever so slowly, occasionally twisting and brushing over my dick. he told me not to make a sound, so i kept on biting my fucking lip, but _still_ some strained groans came from my throat. i knew that daniel told me not to.

but i couldn't take it anymore.

my breathing got more raspy as i pictured daniel's lips around my dick.

my thoughts grew even foggier as i thought of daniel pumping his hand faster, faster.

and then i heard heavy breathing. i opened my eyes and stared in front of me, nearly gasping aloud. if anything, daniel almost made me cum right there and then.

in front of me, sitting with his legs spread open, daniel was doing the same thing to himself. his pants and boxers were down, his hand slowly pumping his own full-length. i watched eagerly, wanting to make up for all the things i missed while my eyes were stupidly closed.

we made eye contact with each other...

and then daniel suddenly stopped and grabbed my wrist, stopping me from continuing.

"switch places with me. _now_." daniel groaned, his voice strained and his breathing quick.

he pulled my wrist and then pushed my waist against the desk, making me turn around and then, to my surprise, he also grabbed my shoulders and made me bend over.

"i waited too long for this," daniel said breathlessly behind me, and then i felt his hands start sliding up my back, under my shirt. i propped myself up with my hands against the desk, closing my eyes once again and making all my senses focus on his touch. he drew his fingernails across my back, and then he pulled my shirt up. with his help, i took it off and then continued to prop myself up.

i looked back at him and saw that he was still getting himself off, but then when he noticed me looking at him, he gave me small smirk.

"jack..." he said slowly. i nodded.

"show me you deserve _more_ than a fucking internship. with you taking me all in...i'll make sure you get a fucking _raise_." daniel said, still smirking. then he licked his top lip, and i gave in to him.

i didn't need preparation. i was ready.

before he went in, though, i had the greatest view of watching him take off his shirt.

daniel slowly unbuttoned his collared shirt and showed his skin, and all i wanted to do was kiss him, touch his chest, his face...

he was the sexiest thing i have ever seen in my life.

giving me one last kiss on my lips, daniel started kissing a line down my back. then he stopped.

he lined himself up behind me, then i felt pain.

sharp pain.

 _fuck_.

too tight.

too thick.

excruciating pain.

then...the best fucking pleasure that i've ever felt in my life.

i let out a groan, i couldn't help myself. daniel panted behind me, probably feeling hella confined in that tight ass space...but then i moved back in order to tell him i was okay.

"you're so fucking tight, so good," daniel breathed, a moan escaping from his throat. i bit my lip, my eyebrows furrowed and my eyes closed. daniel moved his hands to my waist, gripping the sides so tightly.

he moved in again, a little quicker now.

then he accelerated his pace with every thrust.

about, like, ten minutes later, we were a panting, sweaty mess. daniel was thrusting into me so fast, constant moans were filling up the room, everything else on our minds had gone away so fast.

i was pumping my hand on myself, and as soon as daniel told me he was there, i released at the same time he did.

he relaxed, exhaling loudly as i turned around. our lips immediately met, our hands exploring each other's tired bodies. i leaned back against the desk, and daniel climbed on top of me. he kissed me.

my face, my neck, my lips.

i felt so good, so refreshed and tired.

i watched him through my half-closed eyes, as our breathing slowed down to a normal pace.

"that was...the best sex i've ever had." i finally whispered.

daniel nodded, kissing my chest softly and leaving a love bite wherever he wanted.

this was definitely the best way to start our relationship...

to start a whole new year together...

which was also the start of me being sure of my sexuality.

and when we walked out together, after giggling to ourselves and making sure our wrinkled clothes were fixed and straightened...

we both knew it was the start of something new.


	8. so i did: daniel and zach

zach.

people go to hawaii to go on vacation.

for private time with a partner...

for personal time to have with themselves...

or, just because it's a nice place to go.

but i never knew i'd find so much in just another place on earth.

today me and my family arrived in maui, got a rental car, got groceries, and checked into our two-bedroom suite and settled in for our five-day stay.

as reese and ryan fought for the second bedroom, and my parents fixed their luggages in theirs, i decided to take a walk.

i haven't been in hawaii for a long, long time.

ever since last year.

so as soon as i stepped out, i felt so refreshed. as soon as i walked out that hotel door, it's like--even though i knew i'd be back to work as soon as these five, short days were over...every figment of stress and anger left my body.

being in hawaii meant that i can have time for myself.

i held my flip flops in one hand, and brushed my hair back with my other.

the pathway leading up to the beach was on a hill, and it perfectly obscured my view of the sand and the water.

after being a smart person and checking if anyone was in front of me, i closed my eyes and let my feet guide me.

feeling the cement from the pathway under my toes.

feeling the light rainfall, the soft heat keeping my body warm.

and then, hearing the waves. i opened my eyes.

and there it was.

the brightest smile that i've had in a long, long time appeared on my face. i bet i looked like i've never seen a beach before or something, to the other people there.

but then, i didn't care anymore.

i stepped carefully down the stairs and then felt the sand.

oh, my goodness, the sand. i wasn't even touching the water yet and that stupid smile was stuck on my face.

i walked towards the water, seeing that the sun was reflecting on it and shining right in my eyes, but at the same time...i didn't want to shield my eyes from it.

then i felt the shocking, yet cool, yet fresh, yet clear water around my feet.

i shifted my weight, let the waves pass.

i lifted up one foot, then the other, then let the waves pass.

i jumped, watched my feet make harsh prints, disrupting the smooth sand. then let the waves pass.

i walked in a circle, watching my footprints appear. god, i felt just like a little kid again. i guess the feeling of being _free_ did that to a person.

it's as if i had a laptop, and i went to school...but when vacation started--it was like i had that feeling as deleting all the school-related tabs.

i looked to my right and to my left, then back at the hotel. i had told my parents that i'd just walk to the water and then back, really quick...but i didn't want to do that anymore.

i just wanted to walk.

so i did.

i turned to my left, swinging my arms and taking deep breaths.

i looked at my feet, the sand, the water, the sun, its blinding reflection on the waves.

i looked at the small sand particles that clung to my feet after every wave went past them. i shook them, trying to get them off...but a few seconds later, i didn't care about them anymore.

so i kept on walking.

at one point i paused and eyed a small white rock in the water, seeming like it was just above the sand. i reached down, about to take it, but it washed away.

a little while later i saw the same rock. so i reached down again.

the sand near the white rock washed away, and a small black rock appeared.

right before they were washed away, i placed my foot on top of them and kept it there until the water retreated.

i picked them up. they were normal. they were both a normal shape. they were just different colors.

so...why did i pick them up?

why'd i feel the need to touch them, to pick them up out of the water, where they belonged?

why did i have the thought of bringing them home a souvenirs?

those question stayed on my mind...

until i saw _him_.

he just... _glanced_ at me. sitting on a beach towel, about twenty feet away, cross-legged, wearing sunglasses.

i didn't know him, and he didn't know me.

when he noticed that i was looking back at him, he raised his eyebrows quickly and then looked away. i looked him over one more time, and then shrugged to myself.

i started walking back towards the hotel.

but then... _i_ glanced back at him, for whatever reason.

and he was, by chance, looking back at me. he slowly took off his sunglasses.

immediately i started walking towards him. i don't...i don't know why, though. i just did. i was trapped in the moment.

he watched me as i walked back to him, slowly but surely. i stepped up to where he was sitting.

i could see him even closer now.

his eyes.

his nose.

his mouth.

his...his eyes.

they perfectly matched the ocean.

the sun's reflection on the water.

and i didn't want to shield my eyes from the sight of them, either.

"you must really love the beach, huh." he spoke. i laughed softly, brushing through my hair with my fingers once again.

"it's as if you saw a little puppy or something." he laughed in reply.

his laugh, oh my god. his laugh.

he reached out a hand. i found myself looking at it longer than i needed to. i counted one, two, three, four small tattoos on his wrist.

and then i set down my flip flops and took his hand.

his eyes sparkled and held mine. my breathing quickened.

i felt even more stupid when the thought of a movie cliche came to my mind, and i wanted to laugh.

this was so stupid.

"i'm daniel." he introduced himself.

"zach." i replied.

that was, like, the only thing i said to him before he started talking about what he liked about the beach.

as minutes passed...i didn't know how many...i listened to him.

i watched his smiling face. i watched the happiness dancing in his eyes. the ocean.

and i wanted to sit down with him, listen to him for a little while longer.

get to know him more.

walk on the beach with him.

find out what his tattoos meant.

spend more time with him before i had to leave.

 

so...i did.


	9. so he did: daniel and zach

daniel.

when he stood in the shade, he had dark brown hair...

but when he moved into the sun, his hair turned about three shades lighter, and i could see every single wispy strand of hair in the sunshine.

i saw him walking along the beach, just between the dry sand and the waves, and he acted as if he's never seen a beach before in his life.

i, for one, think of hawaii as my second home.

ever since i was a baby, my parents always took my family to hawaii more than three times each year.

we didn't have any relatives, or family friends here, but...something just clicked when we all went here together.

hawaii never asked to be one of the most popular vacation spots.

hawaii never asked to have amazing landscapes.

it just naturally became...a beautiful land whose life is perpetuated in righteousness.

_ua mau ke ea o ka ʻaina i ka pono._

there's always so many people hanging out at the beach, families playing in the sand, couples holding hands and walking on the sand...

but i could only see him.

i glanced at the other people, but my eyes always went back to him.

then he saw me looking at him. i inhaled sharply, then looked away.

and...true to my word...i had to look back.

we made eye contact.

my heartbeat wasn't natural anymore.

he controlled it.

he started walking closer to me. closer. stop.

i found words.

"you must really love the beach, huh." i said.

and, knowing that i had a bad sense of humor...i didn't know why, but he laughed a little bit in reply.

i needed to make him laugh again. but how? i didn't know how to make people laugh.

if a basic statement such as 'you love the beach, huh' made him laugh, i'm pretty sure i could say another and he'd laugh again.

"it's as if you saw a little puppy or something." i tried.

and he did. he laughed, and that immediately made a huge, stupid smile appear on my face.

his laugh, oh my god. _his laugh_.

i reached out my hand for a handshake. to my surprise, he didn't grab it as fast as a regular person would. instead, he took a solid four seconds, staring into my eyes, then back at my hand, then back at me. and then we finally touched. i saw him glance at my tattoos. i eyed his face, his surprise, his fascination, his small smile. 

"i'm daniel." i spoke again.

"zach." he replied.

i subconsciously raised my eyebrows, then smiled even more.

"that's an amazing name." i swear to god, this guy was doing something to me. i've never heard a name like that before.

"i've...gone to hawaii so many times, but i've never seen someone who's watched the ocean so avidly before. you've been to hawaii before?" i asked.

i hate my incorrect grammar in that last one. i hope he didn't notice that my palms were sweating, my mind was racing. he wasn't saying anything in reply. was i saying too much?

all he did was nod in reply.

so i did what i did best...filled up the empty space with my voice.

"the island, to me, is like a second home. i honestly can't count how many times i've been here, but..." i paused, looking for more words.

when i saw the pair of flip flops that zach was holding...i found them.

"the beach has just become a part of me. when i was younger, i was wearing these batman flip flops, right? i was walking on the sand, and i slipped." i chuckled to myself, delighted to see a bigger smile on his face.

"my mom picked me up and checked if i was okay, but what we both failed to notice was that my flip flops had fallen off my feet and got washed away by the waves. but at the same time...i never noticed. the beach was there to distract me. the love of my family was there to distract me. so what if those batman flip flops are becoming footwear for a little dolphin out there?"

and i got laughing in reply. from both me and him.

"i just let them go. i didn't really care about them anymore, because vacation is still vacation, with or without batman flip flops." i smiled to myself when i finished my short story.

then zach moved to sit down next to me. i made space for him on my towel, and then we watched the water for a few seconds. admiring its natural beauty.

i closed my eyes, became conscious of more than just the wind against my skin.

his warmth. his bare shoulder against mine. his knee occasionally bumping against mine.

when i opened my eyes, i saw that he too had made the decision to close his eyes and take a few seconds for himself.

his eyelashes were long, his skin had a perfect tone, his hair was a perfect shade.

i wanted to know more about him.

i wanted to hear more of his laughs, hopefully all of them being responses to my words.

i wanted to hear his voice, saying my name, talking to me.

i wanted to take him out on a date before i had to go back home, to work, to life, to never-ending, harsh, stressful responsibilities.

so...i did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't know that this extremely short story would have a second chapter, i just felt like making one.  
> gosh, this is so sweet :)  
> 


	10. new beginnings: jack and jonah

jonah.

minnesota was my home for a long time, ever since i was born to the time i officially joined the band.

but now...minnesota shared its name with my first child.

a child i adopted on april 23, 2025, with my husband of five years.

those five years mainly consisted of meetings, with the court and with each of our families, completing paperwork, and most frequently, conversations with each other. in the middle of multiple nights, we'd wake up, go to our kitchen and fire up the coffee machine, and than have a long talk about life. and that's what i loved about jack--he went through all this with me.

let's just say i'm grateful that i had my family, jack's family, corbyn, daniel and zach to support the both of us during this time, because...some people don't have anyone to rely on.

minnesota wasn't even able to see what her parents looked like before she was put under her only uncle's care. her mom had passed away about a minute after she was born, and her father...even her mom didn't know where he was.

all i knew for sure was that he missed out on _so much_.

when me and jack met minnesota for the first time, we met her in the hospital where she was born. her uncle was holding her in a blanket, sitting in a chair with a baby carseat on the floor beside it.

then i was able to hold her in my arms.

james, her uncle, had been holding her while she slept, but when she felt our movements she opened her eyes. and i fell in love.

"doesn't anna just have the most beautiful eyes?" james said softly. i almost didn't hear him. 'anna' was a name that he told me her mom wanted to give her. but she wasn't able to write it down before she was gone. earlier he had asked what we wanted to name her, but it seemed like that was completely out of his mind at the moment. and i didn't want to correct him.

if i was in his position, i'd never want to let her go.

"yes, she's perfect," i breathed in reply, smoothing the blanket so it perfectly framed her face. she had the softest skin, the longest eyelashes i've ever seen, and sparkling brown eyes. even though i knew brown eyes were becoming more and more common, and i also knew jack had some amazing ones, from then on i believed that minnesota's were the best i've ever seen.

she held a whole new universe in them. the future. with every blink, her future changed. with every breath she took, she took up more space in my heart. all i could see when i made eye contact with her...was pure happiness.

my first tear landed on her blanket. i laughed to myself, wiping my eye with the back of my hand and then wiping her blanket with my thumb ever so gently. she felt like she was so fragile, like she was a china doll that needed to be protected everywhere it went. and in a way, she was. it was to the point where i thought if my hand pressed even the slightest bit too hard against her back, she'd break.

with that thought locked in my mind, i wrapped my arms under her a little bit tighter so her weight would be more stabilized.

"may i hold her, babe?" jack's soft voice snapped me out of my thoughts, though. if he was any other person, i would've gotten mad because they'd interrupted me and my daughter's moment, but...when i saw how excited and happy he was, i relaxed.

with extremely slow and gentle movements, i lifted her and placed her into jack's waiting arms. i pretty much became an even more protective father after that. i kept on fixing her blanket and making sure there weren't any signs that something was wrong, even while she was in jack's arms.

"she's everything that i hoped she'd be." jack whispered to me, making eye contact and smiling with both his mouth and his eyes. i nodded, giving him a kiss on the cheek and then looking back at minnesota.

"i'm gonna nickname her minnie." jack added. i looked at him. he had an amused smile on his face, filled with happiness and humor.

"that's a great nickname," i replied, and then we laughed together.

jack had his own little moment with minnie, and i watched him as minnie's tiny, fragile fingers wrapped around his left ring finger. there, a silver band reflected the sunlight coming through the hospital's windows. to this day, i'm extremely blessed to be the guy who put that there.

and here we are now, with our daughter...there's so many more amazing years to be lived with my new family.

james cleared his throat.

"i...may i hold her one more time? i have to go in a few minutes..." james spoke, his voice trailing off into silence. jack and i nodded, and jack gave minnie to james. the man began to cry, and we stood by him and each wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"james..." i started. he looked at me.

"just know, james, you can visit us at our home _any_ time you'd like. any time you're free, whenever you feel like it, all you need to do is give us a call." i insisted.

it was the least i could do, seeing that the only reason as to why he put minnesota up for adoption is because he didn't have the money or time to raise a child on his own.

"thank you, mr. frantzich." he said, sniffling. i shook my head slowly, looking over at jack for a split second.

"no, james...you don't need to call me that. to you, we're jonah and jack. after all, you're the person who even made it possible for us to have a little family of our own. you don't know how grateful we are." i explained.

"and _you two_ actually don't know how grateful i am that you're willing to take her into your care," james replied. "i bet my sister's smiling down at you two from up there. she thanks you, too." he finished.

-

when me and jack said goodbye to james, reassuring him and swearing to him that we'd be the definition of amazing parents for the rest of our lives, i drove home while jack sat in the backseat with our daughter.

_our daughter._

our last puzzle piece that helped us to create a new family.

a new home for me and jack, a new place to put all our strength and love into.

a new future that would be filled with laughter, sadness, strong bonds, arguments.

a new meaning of life, a new purpose of living...everyday, she's our responsibility.

a new beginning.


	11. all i needed: corbyn and zach

corbyn.

every month, on an a certain day, me and my mom go to a family-friend party. my mom calls it a lotto party, since the main part of the event is just to socialize and try our luck at lottery tickets.

there's a big backstory about how these lotto parties came to be, and how my family met these other families and became good friends, but that's not my focus right now. what i'm focusing on right now is _him_. i've never seen him before in my life, i've never heard about him before, i've never even knew that one of my mom's friends had a kid i didn't know about. nevertheless that he was my _age_. apparently, his parents, mr. and mrs. herron, decided that he was using technology too much at home and then they forced him to go to the party so he could start socializing more--and i know that because he told me. as soon as i stepped into mr. and mrs. seavey's house--they were the couple hosting the party this month--i looked around for daniel, like i always did. but for some reason, maybe he was at school, or somewhere with his friends from his high school...he wasn't there.

"hello, corbyn! wow, saskia, he's getting so tall!" mrs. seavey said as soon as she opened the door to let us inside. my mom smiled and nodded, then started having a typical mom conversation with her while i went past mrs. seavey into her house. but something made me stop.

there was this new face among all the familiar ones. he had brown, fluffy hair, a dope-ass fashion sense, and a huge nintendo switch lying across his lap. naturally, i walked right up to him and glanced at what game he was playing.

mrs. seavey's voice startled me. "oh, by the way, corbyn, i told daniel to come to the party today so you'd have someone to hang out with, but he had a group project to work on with angi." by angi, she meant daniel's girl 'friend' who was actually his girlfriend--mrs. seavey just didn't know.

"oh, okay..." my voice trailed off. half my attention was on the new guy, a third focused on mrs. seavey and the last two-thirds on the nintendo switch. the guy looked up at me, staring at me with this long fucking eyelashes, soft facial features, a spotless, perfect face.

"hey, bro, what's your name?" he asked me. i found myself playing with the hem of my shirt as i spoke--a nervous tick. "corbyn, nice to meet you. how come i've never seen you before?" _was that too pushy? too weird?_ he answered me with a bright smile.

"i'm zach...mr. and mrs. herron's son. have they ever mentioned me before?" he asked. my eyes widened. maybe it was because i was always doing my own business during these monthly parties, or maybe it was because i don't really talk to most of the adults in the party...but i've never heard the name 'zach' before. so i shook my head.

"i'm sure they have at least once, i probably have never heard your name because i was too busy doing my own business or something else while all the adults talked about politics and how their children are doing." i said with a laugh. zach laughed with me. his laugh was so normal, so regular for a guy to have. so why did it make me want to laugh more? why'd it make me smile more?

"what made you decide to come to the party today?" i added. zach tilted his head to the side, pausing his game so we could talk.

whoa.

you know you're doing something either wrong or right if you make someone pause their game. or, the person's just plain nice, or their game's not that fun to them. i seriosuly hope i'm doing something _right_.

"my parents kept telling me that i should get the fuck off technology once i get home...and honestly, what with learning about the pros and cons of technology in high school, i understand their part of the issue. but at the same time, all the smash bros. characters aren't going to unlock themselves." zach said, laughing and _winking_ at me. holy shit, that guy probably has all the girls--or guys--hanging on his every word, if he winks at everyone like that.

what's happening...?

he's relatable, he's cool, he's so chill, he's...hot. i need to talk to him more.

"you gonna get food?" he asked. i shook my head. for one, i've eaten before the party, and even if i was, i wouldn't have wanted to waste my time getting food when i could be talking to this hot guy right here. not to mention he's a new person in my life, and i've never even seen him before.

"sit over here, then, bro." zach said, patting the spot on the couch next to him. i slowly sat down, my eyes flicking from his face, to his switch, and back to the front door. by then, my mom and mrs. seavey were long gone. i didn't even notice. zach was such a distraction.

"d'you play smash too? i can tell you wanna play." zach giggled, taking off one of the controllers from the main console and handing it to me. i took it in my hands, nodding.

"my main is--"

"ness?"

we spoke the character's name at the same time. our eyes widened. _perfectly in sync._

"no way, bro!" i laughed, entertained. zach laughed again as he grabbed a chair and pulled it in front of us, then propped up the main console on it so we could set up a game.

as he set it up and took the other console for himself, we continued to talk.

from him, i learned a lot of easter eggs in smash. time passed.

i learned more about him, too. i learned about his high school. we talked about how our high schools were similar and different. we talked about our favorite classes, and i found out that zach's worst class was ceramics, because he still didn't know how to get a piece of clay ready on the turntable. and i pictured his adorable self, standing by the turntable, wiping sweat off his forehead with a clay-covered hand, then putting a new ball of clay on the table only to watch it start spinning out of control.

i made him laugh more, talking about funny moments with my dog, my sister, my brother, my mom and dad. i made him smile by talking to him about...anything at all. i honestly didn't care about what i said,

all i needed to see was that _smile_.


	12. better off blind: jack and you

you.

it was like watching a movie...but whatever happened was going on right before me.

we were walking along the golden gate bridge.

we stopped so we could take a picture.

we leaned against the railing.

and as a person took our picture...

a car swerved, _fast_ , right in our direction.

human instinct caused me to jump out of the way. our temporary cameraperson dashed off to the side in the opposite direction.

meanwhile...the love of my life, in order to get out of the way, he moved backwards but lost his footing.

and...he leaned back too far, his balance offset, and in less than a split second, he disappeared over the side.

at that point i wanted to _die_ , right there and then.

it was all over. he was gone. i didn't see him. he wasn't going to survive.

i immediately ran to the edge, the rest of the fucking world gone from my mind. i didn't fucking care about anything else.

i ran to the edge and looked over the railing just in time to see jack falling, head over heels, and then making a huge splash as he hit the water.

my hands were shaking. my whole body was shaking. i wanted to black out.

i wanted to fall over the railing with him. i didn't want to see him fall right in front of me.

but it fucking happened.

" _call a fucking ambulance, 911, call them, pleeeease, please, please, call 911...emergency...jaaack...pleeease..._ " all my words just turned into a huge jumble. i didn't know what i was saying. i was screaming at the top of my lungs, but at the same time, i was unconscious.

i was running around, but at the same time, i was just staring. staring at the railing, the water, the air, the sky.

i was still alive, still standing, but at the same time, i was dead. i wanted to be dead. i was crouching on the ground, my head between my legs, my whole body shaking. my heart folding in on itself.

so much pressure on my chest. i didn't have enough oxygen. i can't breathe. i can't think.

then the camera guy was by me, his hand on my shoulder, his other dialing something and then lifting the phone up to his ear.

i only saw blurry colors. someone was screaming. i covered my ears, but i still heard it. the screaming was high-pitched, a mixture of undecipherable words, endless. never-ending. unexplainable.

it took me a long time to realize that the screaming wouldn't go away. i was the person who was doing it.

the guy kept on saying something, about an ambulance, something about how something was on its way, something something something. by then i was deaf. i was hearing my screams, but i couldn't hear anything else. i couldn't think.

my eyes stayed on that railing, the edge of the bridge, the water below. that endless blue body of water. he was there.

dead? i don't fucking know. i want to know. i don't want to know.

swimming? i don't know. i want to be there with him. i want to save myself. i want him to hold me in his arms again.

the person i need is the person i need to save.

i can't move. my whole body's frozen. i closed my eyes. i was suddenly able to hear more things around me.

and i also hoped...i hoped with my whole being that when i opened my blind eyes, he would be there again. he would be there with his huge smile, his arms, his warm chest that i always pressed myself against whenever i hugged him. i needed him.

"we're going now. i'll help you." a male voice spoke. maybe it was the camera guy. i didn't fucking care. hands held my underarms, i was being carried. i didn't have any energy. i still heard screaming from that girl, although it had died down at least a little bit.

then i was lifted. hard, metal-like ground under my feet. i slumped to the ground, someone kept pulling me back up and touching my forehead, saying things i didn't hear or understand.

"she keeps on saying 'jack'," i heard a little later, when i felt rumbling under my feet and the sound of cars on my left and right. did i say that? was i the girl who kept on saying...

where was he now?

where am i? where am i going?

i realized i was holding something. my phone. that small rectangle, that small thing he gave me when he started dating. the phone case. he gave me that, too, when i dropped my phone one day and a million cracks appeared. 'don't worry, i'll repair it, i can get you a new case, too' he kept telling me. soon my phone was dressed up in a different color.

it must be nice to feel secure, you little rectangle. if only you could bring him back to me.

my eyes were still closed.

then, suddenly i was in a hospital. i could tell by the sounds of the people around me. talking about patients. rooms. emergencies. accidents. rare accidents. rare emergencies. how did that happen. how did this happen. he's alright. he's okay. something about coast guard.

they kept telling me to open my eyes. i could hear them but i didn't respond. my whole body was tense, i couldn't respond. i had no voice. too tired from the endless screaming. i didn't want anyone to touch me unless it was him.

and then...

a miracle.

a few hours later. after hours of sitting and waiting. not knowing where i was.

"y/n."

at once, i opened my eyes _wide_. bright white, then color returned. i was in a room, sitting on the edge of a bed. someone was sitting next to me.

he wasn't able to say _anything at all_ before i threw my arms around him, tight, i never wanted to let go. i started crying my eyes out. i couldn't stop. there was that feeling again, that feeling of my heart folding in on itself, my whole body crouching into a tight ball, but i was still sitting straight up.

there was his voice, and everything he said was clear. i could see everything around me now. i could see where i was. i knew where i was. i recalled everything that had happened earlier, from when i was at the bridge to when i came here.

i couldn't say anything, still, though. i didn't know what to say. 'i love you' wouldn't be enough. talking meant, every word would mean a quicker ending of the conversation. i wanted to hear his voice until my life ended. i wanted to hold him until i couldn't anymore.

i felt his hand in my hair, slowly finger-combing from my part to the end of the strands, to my shoulder, to my back. his arms surrounded me, and i slumped into them. i didn't have any energy again.

"jack," i whispered, my hands going all over him, checking if he was real. he was there, in front of me. i could touch him. i could run my fingers through his hair, touch his shoulders, hold his hands, keep my fingers intertwined with his for as long as i wanted.

"i'm alright. you're okay. we're alright now. we're alive. we're breathing." every word hit me. my hearing and my eyesight were sharp. i could see every single one of my love's eyelashes, i could see every single strand of his curls. i could see him leaning closer, then _finally_ pressing his lips to mine.

i wrapped my arms around his neck, his arms immediately wrapping around my waist and holding me oh, so tight against his chest.

_i anything happened to you, i wouldn't know what to do._

_i don't want to see a world without you._

_i want to hold you for the rest of my life._

_as soon as you disappeared, my whole life was gone._

_too many memories, too many feelings, too many moments would be gone if you left._

_i'd be better off blind if it meant i wouldn't have to wake up and go through a single day without you, your smile, your love, your happiness._

i can't live without you.


	13. the little surprise: jonah and you

you.

that's the thing, though...even though jonah and i knew she was coming, she was still a surprise.

a surprise is defined as an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing. in lavender's case, the event of her arrival was astonishing.

astonishing is defined as extremely surprising or impressive; amazing. and the things gabbie had to go through during her pregnancy was impressive.

from what i know, pregnancy during any age is stressful, but it's an experience in itself, of course. you need support, you need patience...you need food for the endless cravings you get--and i know that because my mom told me that she always wanted either taco bell or mcdonald's in the middle of the night.

i remember when i was visiting jonah, who was staying at jack's house for their little four-day vacation. and naturally, gabbie was there.

"how are you feeling, _hermosa_?" i said to her as soon as i saw her. gabbie shrugged, her smile growing wider.

"well...honestly, if ms. herron continues to make her signature trail mix for me, i'll always feel great." gabbie laughed, and i joined in. myta always made trail mix for halloween, but i guess her 'monster mix' was on gabbie's list of cravings.

gabbie had this new glow to her...as if someone constantly threw glitter on her everywhere she walked. i know it's a bit weird to describe that aura in that way...but i don't know how else to explain it.

and when i saw her in the hospital a few days after lavender's official arrival, that glow was still there.

jonah's hand clenched around mine as soon as i stepped into gabbie's room, and i saw that zach, kay, jack, daniel and ms. avery were there with us. the visits were organized in rotations, and i assumed the rest of gabbie's and jack's families were taking a break to get food in the hospital's cafeteria or something like that.

"hey, _hermosa_ , how are you feeling?" i spoke softly, making eye contact with gabbie as she smiled at me. there was a small bundle of blankets in her arms, and even though i didn't see her yet, i knew lavender was one of the most beautiful babies i've ever seen in my life.

"i'm definitely feeling... _refreshed_." gabbie said, giving me a small laugh. i nodded, stepping a little closer until gabbie gestured for me to sit down on the bed next to her.

and there she was.

she pushed all the thoughts away from my mind...i was speechless.

and the first thought i had next was that lavender had gabbie's eyes and jack's soft chin.

"you guys--you guys made such a beautiful baby, i don't even know the perfect words to summarize what i'm feeling right now," i giggled, looking over lavender's face multiple times before looking at her mom's. gabbie nodded, tilting her head to look down at her daughter. jack walked towards gabbie and lavender, sliding an arm around gabbie's shoulders and kissing lavender's forehead as if he was kissing a feather.

as i watched the couple share a moment with lavender, i noticed jonah's facial expression out of the corner of my eye.

instead of looking at jack, gabbie and lavender...his eyes were focused on me.

i slowly moved away from gabbie and walked to him, putting my arms on his waist and sliding my thumbs into his belt loops. i put my weight on them as i went onto my tiptoes, extending my height so i could look at him at eye-level.

"what are you looking at me like that for?" i whispered, his face dangerously close to mine. jonah smiled, raising a finger to brush away a strand of hair that was in my eyes. i pressed my lips to his cheek for a moment, then moved away again.

"looking at you like... _what_?" jonah murmured, raising his eyebrow as if he didn't know what i was talking about. i shook my head and laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck this time and leaning my head against his chest.

"you're looking at me like i just made you one of your favorite foods or something. and i know how happy that makes you feel." i replied, and i felt jonah nod against my neck.

"and maybe i'm looking at you like i'm extremely happy _because_...seeing you happy makes me happy." jonah said.

"as soon as you saw lavender, it's as if you saw an angel in person." he added. i shrugged, my fingers playing with the collar of his shirt as i spoke.

"i think...i think i did, actually," i smirked, looking back at gabbie to see a huge smile on her face.

"but i thought _i_ was your angel, babe."

all of a sudden, jonah and i heard something that strangely sounded like someone puking. i turned in the direction of the sound, and saw zach pretending to make himself choke by poking his finger into his mouth. kay was beside him, her right hand covering her mouth, laughing softly.

"oh _please_ , as if you and kay aren't this gooey when _you_ guys are together," jack spoke up, pretending to grab gabbie's pillow and throw it at zach. zach and kay laughed together, and soon enough, jack pushed zach and kay out the door in order to keep the room's noise level to a minimum. in addition, he told his mom to follow them so they wouldn't cause any trouble in the hospital.

jonah and i took kay and zach's seats by the window, and jack sat down in the other chair next to me.

"how's dad life going so far, jack?" jonah asked, placing his elbows on his knees and turning to face his friend. jack kept his eyes on gabbie while he talked.

"okay, so...do you want the short explanation or the long one?"

" 's up to you, bro."

"alright then...let me just tell you, fatherhood is simply a new door in my life that's full of several hallways. and the best part of fatherhood is that i'm not alone. and i've always understood that gabbie's position is more important than mine, but we're still going through this together." jack finished.

but then he looked away from gabbie, and instead stared straight at the floor. a voice in my head told me that the next words he'll say won't have as happy a feeling as his previous sentences did.

"whatever happens...i'll always try to be the best father lavender could ever have." jack folded his hands together, then unclasped them, then repeated his actions. i saw gabbie looking at him from where she was laying on the bed, and before the situation could get anymore tense, i stood up slowly and grabbed jonah's hand.

"are the others in the cafeteria right now?" i asked jack slowly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea as to why i suddenly stood up. jack looked up at me and then jonah, then nodded.

"yeah, you guessed right. and if you two go there...could you tell my mom that it'd be okay to bring zach and kay back?" jack asked. i patted his shoulder to let him know i would.

jonah and i walked out of the room and looked at each other while our feet led the way to the cafeteria. and i asked my boyfriend what was on my mind.

"is everything alright between them?"

"honestly, y/n...i can't tell with those two." jonah had a worried expression on his face now. but i wanted to keep talking about it. at least, once the conversation's over...it's over.

"has jack talked to you about anything, between him and gabbie?"

"well he's told me about how their relationship is on an off at times...but even though me and the rest of the guys are all close friends, we all have our own things that we don't wanna talk about." jonah explained, and it was clear that he didn't know the deep facts about gabbie and jack either. so i stopped pressing.

we walked the rest of the way to the cafeteria in silence, and my mind ended up going back to jonah.

i'm so lucky.

lucky to have a guy who i know everything about...who knows everything about me.

i've always wanted to date someone who i could feel free with, who i could talk to about anything.

a guy who wouldn't question my questions.

and if we ever go through a rough patch...maybe in the future, sometimes in the past...i'm glad i'm experiencing it with jonah.

because with him, i know everything will be okay sooner or later.

and that feeling of security has never warmed my heart before as much as it was now.


End file.
